Monday, March 22, 2010

Toys R Us: for all your firearm accessories!

Troll alert! Check the product reviews ;P

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tiffancy Amber Theissen is pregant

My dreams of hooking up with Kelly Kapowski are officially over...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Can't wipe your own butt? Then do I have the product for you!!!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Where else do you go to get your kid a sex change?

Two FAILs don't make a WIN, but apparently 30+ pages of FAIL do.

This is too good not to post:

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I swear GTA IV doesn't cause violence!

Irony; when you look it up in the dictionary, you'll see this article:

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Funny Request to be Valedictorian

Friday, April 25, 2008

If College Ads were Truthful...

Monday, March 31, 2008


... taking it to a whole new level.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The World Beard Championships Winners

Have you seen King Ralph? Not exactly Sharespeare, but the movie does present an interesting scenario whereby the underdog is thrown into a vaulted position. I've often dreamed about such things (what if every single NHL player was to break their ankle at the same time? I could be in the NHL! Shut up, it's possible) - sadly, this is one contest where I will never, ever have a chance of winning...

Monday, March 03, 2008

How to Deal with a bully

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Aren't we Punny

After a hard day working at the fruit farm, Jim came home early one day to find Clementine sleeping with Mr Bananarama. As soon as they locked eyes, Mr Bananarama jumped out of bed and split. Sadly, Jim wasn't surprised to find that his wife was a whorange since he had met her at the peelers. His first thoughts were ones of rage, and he was tempted to beat her to a pulp, but he didn't want to get bruised before his trip to the big Tropicana plant in the sky.

"Honey, I love you but Mr Bananarama has so much sex appeel, I couldn't resist" sobbed Clementine. Jim was almost ready to burst: "Is it because I'm seedless? Is that why you gave him the old bump and rind? I know you want kids, but dammit Clementine, intercourse with a banana is just fruity!"

"That's not it at all!" she replied, "you're never around anymore, you and the fruit flys are always at the local bar getting juiced - you never pay attention to me! Sometimes a girl just needs to get her potASSium. I need it on the regular, like the Clockwork Orange you used to be!"

Realizing it was over, Jim hung his stem in shame and embarked on the road to emotional recovery by joining a group of acidic juice with their beards, sidecurls, hats and words of wisdom. He picked up the habit of singing to pass the days, singing the same song over and over....

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

* Most puns stolen from Digg

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in a Piece of Toast

Thursday, February 07, 2008

If I am ever a Starfleet Captain...

So this one screams "nerd!" but it was too funny not to post

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

So I guess I got kicked out of another my little pony forum

"... and your picture of Stalin riding a Year3 Limited Edition Starflower inside a German concentration camp was both upsetting and historically inaccurate."

I can haz Cheezburger in a can?

Much like this beleaguered blogger, I'm of two minds on the concept of a cheeseburger in a can. Many questions come to mind; how long does it last? Does it come with ketchup? Only the Germans know...


This is an addendum of sorts to a post on the Pimpson's blog. I for one know the torment of asynchronous light switches. However, what brought forth this torrent of verbosity was the desire to vent on a perhaps more subversive and distressing affair: not knowing WHAT exactly a particular light switch does.

I moved into a house a number of months ago, and as a man one of my first undertakings was to promptly press every switch, lever and button I could find within my new domain. Now, it's not a new house, nor have I had contact with the previous owners of the edifice, so I have little recursive action available at my disposal to help me determine what this one, particular, light switch does. It's in the main hallway, but as far as I can tell it serves no purpose other than to confound me. Does my neighbor's power turn off when I press it? Does NATO receive the GO codes for missile launch? Short of ripping open the wall and following the cables, I'm blunderbussed.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Love Bacon

I'm amazed I didn't find this sooner!

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Monday, December 03, 2007

Too Super Cool for Ticket

Here's a short poem I wrote about you, super cool.

Facebook: from social networking to stalking in one click

So as some of you may have heard, Facebook has developed and released a new advertising program, part of which is called Beacon. Beacon sureptitiously lets Facebook follow you around the internet and log where you go, what you do and I`m sure plenty of other information which they have no business collecting.

Beacon is an opt in program for advertisers (i.e. sites you visit) but is a partial opt out program for you, the user, and that`s what bugs me. The more companies that sign up for Beacon, the easier it will be for Facebook to track your movements across the intertubes. Here`s how (I understand it) to work:

Say you go to to check out what movies are available to rent. Once there, a little pop up box will probably appear saying roughly `you`re looking at movie X, do you want us to put that interest on your facebook profileÉ`. If you`re cool with this, say yes and life moves on. However, even if you say no, Facebook still collects the data. Scary!

So, what to doÉ First, here`s an article that better explains the problem, but more importantly tells you how to block the information from being sent to Facebook in the first place. Second, spread the word - let people know! There`s power in numbers, and Facebook has capitulated in the past to pressure from users. Third, join the rebellion! Buy a Che Guverra hat (this situation constitutes an exception to the cuban dictator hat ban described here) and let Facebook know that this isn`t cool and they have to change their tactics.

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