Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Aren't we Punny

After a hard day working at the fruit farm, Jim came home early one day to find Clementine sleeping with Mr Bananarama. As soon as they locked eyes, Mr Bananarama jumped out of bed and split. Sadly, Jim wasn't surprised to find that his wife was a whorange since he had met her at the peelers. His first thoughts were ones of rage, and he was tempted to beat her to a pulp, but he didn't want to get bruised before his trip to the big Tropicana plant in the sky.

"Honey, I love you but Mr Bananarama has so much sex appeel, I couldn't resist" sobbed Clementine. Jim was almost ready to burst: "Is it because I'm seedless? Is that why you gave him the old bump and rind? I know you want kids, but dammit Clementine, intercourse with a banana is just fruity!"

"That's not it at all!" she replied, "you're never around anymore, you and the fruit flys are always at the local bar getting juiced - you never pay attention to me! Sometimes a girl just needs to get her potASSium. I need it on the regular, like the Clockwork Orange you used to be!"

Realizing it was over, Jim hung his stem in shame and embarked on the road to emotional recovery by joining a group of acidic juice with their beards, sidecurls, hats and words of wisdom. He picked up the habit of singing to pass the days, singing the same song over and over....

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

* Most puns stolen from Digg


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