The Redundancy Department of Redundancy

Toys R Us: for all your firearm accessories!

2010-03-22T23:54:00.001-04:00

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2850498

Troll alert! Check the product reviews ;P

Tiffancy Amber Theissen is pregant

2009-11-10T21:20:00.001-05:00

My dreams of hooking up with Kelly Kapowski are officially over...

Can't wipe your own butt? Then do I have the product for you!!!!

2009-06-16T12:47:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Where else do you go to get your kid a sex change?

2008-08-15T12:48:00.001-04:00

Two FAILs don't make a WIN, but apparently 30+ pages of FAIL do.

2008-08-15T12:15:00.002-04:00

This is too good not to post: http://failblog.org/

I swear GTA IV doesn't cause violence!

2008-04-30T16:03:00.002-04:00

Irony; when you look it up in the dictionary, you'll see this article:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=562729&in_page_id=1766&ito=1490

Funny Request to be Valedictorian

2008-04-29T10:16:00.002-04:00

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=494826

If College Ads were Truthful...

2008-04-25T13:17:00.000-04:00

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1812947

Stupidity

2008-03-31T14:12:00.002-04:00

... taking it to a whole new level.

The World Beard Championships Winners

2008-03-26T13:24:00.002-04:00

Have you seen King Ralph? Not exactly Sharespeare, but the movie does present an interesting scenario whereby the underdog is thrown into a vaulted position. I've often dreamed about such things (what if every single NHL player was to break their ankle at the same time? I could be in the NHL! Shut up, it's possible) - sadly, this is one contest where I will never, ever have a chance of winning...

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/Gallery/gallery.html

How to Deal with a bully

2008-03-03T11:36:00.001-05:00

Aren't we Punny

2008-02-26T13:17:00.004-05:00

After a hard day working at the fruit farm, Jim came home early one day to find Clementine sleeping with Mr Bananarama. As soon as they locked eyes, Mr Bananarama jumped out of bed and split. Sadly, Jim wasn't surprised to find that his wife was a whorange since he had met her at the peelers. His first thoughts were ones of rage, and he was tempted to beat her to a pulp, but he didn't want to get bruised before his trip to the big Tropicana plant in the sky.

"Honey, I love you but Mr Bananarama has so much sex appeel, I couldn't resist" sobbed Clementine. Jim was almost ready to burst: "Is it because I'm seedless? Is that why you gave him the old bump and rind? I know you want kids, but dammit Clementine, intercourse with a banana is just fruity!"

"That's not it at all!" she replied, "you're never around anymore, you and the fruit flys are always at the local bar getting juiced - you never pay attention to me! Sometimes a girl just needs to get her potASSium. I need it on the regular, like the Clockwork Orange you used to be!"

Realizing it was over, Jim hung his stem in shame and embarked on the road to emotional recovery by joining a group of acidic juice with their beards, sidecurls, hats and words of wisdom. He picked up the habit of singing to pass the days, singing the same song over and over....

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

* Most puns stolen from Digg

Atheist Sees Image of Big Bang in a Piece of Toast

2008-02-14T15:27:00.000-05:00

http://www.satireandcomment.com/0208toast.html

If I am ever a Starfleet Captain...

2008-02-07T12:02:00.001-05:00

So this one screams "nerd!" but it was too funny not to post

http://www.sff.net/paradise/overlord.html

So I guess I got kicked out of another my little pony forum

2008-01-29T22:57:00.000-05:00

"... and your picture of Stalin riding a Year3 Limited Edition Starflower inside a German concentration camp was both upsetting and historically inaccurate."

http://robotmantheblog.com/2006/10/25/so-i-guess-i-got-kicked-off-another-my-little-pony-forum/

I can haz Cheezburger in a can?

2008-01-29T16:38:00.001-05:00

Much like this beleaguered blogger, I'm of two minds on the concept of a cheeseburger in a can. Many questions come to mind; how long does it last? Does it come with ketchup? Only the Germans know...

http://gizmodo.com/350091/cheeseburger-in-a-can-is-both-the-best-and-worst-thing-ive-ever-seen

Lightswitches

2008-01-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

This is an addendum of sorts to a post on the Pimpson's blog. I for one know the torment of asynchronous light switches. However, what brought forth this torrent of verbosity was the desire to vent on a perhaps more subversive and distressing affair: not knowing WHAT exactly a particular light switch does.

I moved into a house a number of months ago, and as a man one of my first undertakings was to promptly press every switch, lever and button I could find within my new domain. Now, it's not a new house, nor have I had contact with the previous owners of the edifice, so I have little recursive action available at my disposal to help me determine what this one, particular, light switch does. It's in the main hallway, but as far as I can tell it serves no purpose other than to confound me. Does my neighbor's power turn off when I press it? Does NATO receive the GO codes for missile launch? Short of ripping open the wall and following the cables, I'm blunderbussed.

I Love Bacon

2008-01-24T13:37:00.001-05:00

I'm amazed I didn't find this sooner!

http://www.squidoo.com/I_Love_Bacon

Too Super Cool for Ticket

2007-12-03T22:51:00.000-05:00

http://www.maniacworld.com/too-super-cool-for-his-ticket.html

Here's a short poem I wrote about you, super cool.

Facebook: from social networking to stalking in one click

2007-12-03T21:00:00.000-05:00

So as some of you may have heard, Facebook has developed and released a new advertising program, part of which is called Beacon. Beacon sureptitiously lets Facebook follow you around the internet and log where you go, what you do and I`m sure plenty of other information which they have no business collecting.

Beacon is an opt in program for advertisers (i.e. sites you visit) but is a partial opt out program for you, the user, and that`s what bugs me. The more companies that sign up for Beacon, the easier it will be for Facebook to track your movements across the intertubes. Here`s how (I understand it) to work:

Say you go to Blockbuster.com to check out what movies are available to rent. Once there, a little pop up box will probably appear saying roughly `you`re looking at movie X, do you want us to put that interest on your facebook profileÉ`. If you`re cool with this, say yes and life moves on. However, even if you say no, Facebook still collects the data. Scary!

So, what to doÉ First, here`s an article that better explains the problem, but more importantly tells you how to block the information from being sent to Facebook in the first place. Second, spread the word - let people know! There`s power in numbers, and Facebook has capitulated in the past to pressure from users. Third, join the rebellion! Buy a Che Guverra hat (this situation constitutes an exception to the cuban dictator hat ban described here) and let Facebook know that this isn`t cool and they have to change their tactics.

Question Pro

2007-10-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

QuestionPro Online Survey Software and ContactPro Email Marketing Software employs an easy to use Wizard interface to author and deploy Web Based and Email Surveys, Newsletters and Campaigns. No knowledge of HTML or programming is required. A comprehensive suite of analysis tools, ranging from Simple Frequency to TURF to Conjoint, are also provided for data analysis. In addition, QuestionPro Web Survey Software provides seamless integration with SPSS and Microsoft Office products.

MicroPoll Web Poll Software provides seamless ondemand Web Polls for your blog/website. Web Poll Script as well as Web Poll HTML code is provided. Setting up Web Polls is as easy as copy and paste.

QuestionPro Online Surveys also licenses its software free to Students and Researchers in the academic community. The projects have to be strictly academic in nature and should not be part of any other funded research or consulting.

Additional Links:

Survey Design - Writing Great Questions for Online Surveys
Survey Questions - List of questions and answer types used in surveys
Steps in preparing an online survey
Paid Surveys - Join qSample to voice your opinion and get paid

Survey Coming Soon

2007-10-02T22:46:00.001-04:00

So I'm doing a survey on how much people trust social networking sites such as Facebook, hi5 and MySpace. I'm using a survey tool called Question Pro, which can be found at http://www.questionpro.com/

My survey will eventually be able to be found here:
http://www.questionpro.com/akira/TakeSurvey?id=792660

All of this is currently to allow me to register for the survey tool and not have to pay, so check back soon and the real deal will be up here!

The absolute best jump kick you will ever see.

2007-08-23T15:06:00.001-04:00

I really have nothing to say about this picture, except "wow"

A Letter to Optimus Prime from Geico

2007-07-11T11:11:00.000-04:00

A LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT.
BY JOHN FRANK WEAVER

- - - -

Dear Mr. Prime,

We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.

Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."

The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replacement of a cracked fender and a headlight, required after a Mr. I. Ron Hide backed his van into your truck; these cost $1,286.63. Our own investigation concluded that you were not at fault and that Mr. Hide had been drinking prior to the accident. Though police were unable to test his blood-alcohol level—Mr. Hide claimed that it would be impossible for police to examine his blood-alcohol content with a Breathalyzer, because he "doesn't breathe"—under Washington-state law, refusal to take a Breathalyzer test is equivalent to returning a result above the legal level.

But, I repeat, those were the only repairs for which you have been reimbursed, and it was a very minor accident in comparison to your other claims. I mention a few to illustrate the larger trend:

* $379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.

* $665,789.11 requested reimbursement for repairs to your trailer. You claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride, although I question the wisdom of bringing your mobile home so close to such dangerous equipment.

* $6,564,239.44 requested reimbursement for repairs to a truck part called the "Autobot Matrix of Leadership." You stated this occurred in "an ultimate confrontation between good and evil," with a Ms. Meg Atron and a Mr. U. Nicron causing the damage in question. Mr. Prime, I have checked every known car- and truck-part catalog published in the United States and have found nothing even resembling that part, never mind any part so expensive. Whatever disagreements you had with Ms. Atron and Mr. Nicron, I suggest that next time you either settle things peaceably or leave your Autobot Matrix of Leadership at home so it doesn't break. GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.

And the list goes on. Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.

To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July.

Regards,

Simon Furman
GEICO Agent

Which one is supposed to be the "real" news network?

2007-06-27T13:24:00.000-04:00

An MSNBC anchor refuses to report about Paris!

http://video.msn.com/v/us/fv/msnbc/fv.htm??f=00&g=e771e428-bc1a-4ba7-8715-b871d757ccce&p=hotvideo_m_edpicks&t=m5&rf=www.msnbc.msn.com/&fg=

And in other news, CNN drops Michael Moore interview regarding the state of American healthcare system to talk to Paris!

http://thinkprogress.org/2007/06/25/king-paris-moore/

So.... where do you go to get your news?

Job Application at Ikea

2007-05-28T12:30:00.000-04:00

I bought a house!

2007-05-25T12:02:00.001-04:00

I just got back from signing the paperwork for purchasing my first house. I'm excited! The place is in Pineview (between the 174 and Innes, Cyrville and Blair), it's a condo townhouse that appears to be in really good shape.

I take possession on August 15th, but won't move in until the end of August in order to give Corinne and I some time to choose some colors and do a little painting. I'm thinking some red, black and white stripes à la Senators for the basement, dunno if Corinne is going to go for that ;P

And apparently Jeff may be gracious enough to lend me his fancy new BBQ once I'm in. Rockin'!

David's Skydiving Video

2007-05-24T00:31:00.000-04:00

Corinne, Darren, Kirsten and I went skydiving a few weekends ago, and here's the video of my jump. Definitely worth it!

Mortgage

2007-05-10T16:07:00.000-04:00

So I've been given 3 options in terms of mortgages, and I'm not sure which is optimal at this point, so take a look and perhaps let me know what your thoughts are.

Here's the deal, I'm getting a place that's a bit of a fixer upper, with the intention being to do the work and then sell. I figure it'll take 2-3 years to get it all done, after which it goes back on the market. Of the offers below, which is the best choice? Or, is there another consideration out there I haven't thought of?

1) 5 year fixed rate at 5.09%.

2) 5 year open variable at prime minus .75% for a rate of 5.25%. This mortgage would allow you to pay it off in full at any time with no penalties.

3) 5 year closed variable at prime minus .90% for a rate of 5.10%. This mortgage would allow you to lock in or convert out of the variable option at any time with no penalties or fees.

What Star Wars character are you?

2007-04-18T12:21:00.000-04:00

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Default.aspx?MediaId=1415

I'm Qui Gon Jin!

Facebook - Brought to you by the CIA and IAO

2007-03-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

It's time for a good conspiracy rant.

As someone who recently joined the Facebook community, I put little thought into what would be done with the information I posted. Then I watched this video: http://albumoftheday.com/facebook/

You know you've made it big when the conspiracy theorists target you organization.

But when you think about it, all these social engineering sites can serve innumerable purposes - targeted marketing, mapping the global social network and assessing the threat levels of individuals are just the tip of the iceberg. Even if such companies weren't directly affiliated to governmental organizations, would it really be that hard for any major government body to acquire a warrant and obtain the information?

Not that this should be a concern for the majority us today - I doubt the police will be using Facebook to track me down for taking both Snickers bars that came out of the vending machine after I only paid for one - but there will come a time when suspicion by association will be a virtual process.

So the next time someone wants to be your friend on Facebook, you'd better do a background check first.

In need of a laptop

2007-02-27T13:01:00.000-05:00

I have to go to this conference for work next week, but I also have a number of big assignments due that I'll need to work on while I'm there. So, I need to get a laptop computer.

Thing is, I don't want one; I just need it for this weekend. I don't want anything fancy, my requirements are that it has wireless internet, a dvd drive, and at least a 20gb HD. I've looked at getting a used laptop, but for about the $400 or so it would cost to get a computer with those specs, it seems like a hassle and of course could break on me in my moment of need. Nothing new of course is that cheap.

So, I'm currently contemplating buying a laptop at Futureshop and then returning it within 14 days to get my money back. Of course, the risk is that once I have it I won't want to get rid of it. Or something breaks on it and I'm stuck with it.

Anyone (of the probably 3 ppl who might actually read this :P I'll post more often I swear!) have any thoughts on how to resolve this predicament?

Le Nordique

2007-02-23T13:11:00.000-05:00

So Corinne and I went to Le Nordique spa a few weeks ago, and I must say it was quite enjoyable. The premise o the joint is for you first use either the Swedish sauna or the steam room to warm up your body, open up your pores and get the toxins out; you then go into the cold pool/waterfall to wash the toxins off your body and cool off. You then go to one of the relaxation areas for a little while to acclimate yourself, and then repeat the process.

This waterfall is only slightly above zero degrees, and believe me, watching people's reactions as they go under it is worth the price of admission right there. You can litterally feel your skin contract and tighten as you go through - definitely one of the strangest feelings I've experienced.

Would I do it again? Sure! I fell asleep in the relaxation area - Corinne tells me I was snoring which explains the funny looks I got from others when I woke up - which is a rarity for me in the daytime. I wonder if there are other places similar to Le Nordique that I should try - anyone have any recommendations?

Random thoughts... by Dave (part 1)

2007-02-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

I want to propose a new diet, something vaguely along the lines of being a vegetarian. I don't know what to call it yet, but I'm sure something will come to me. It sort of comes from the "eye for an eye" philosophy, as it could apply to your dietary habits.

Basically, what has a head of lettuce ever done to you?

Lettuces are being slaughtered by the millions every year, all for our personal benefit. And yet I've never heard of anyone being attacked by a lettuce. Sure, someone may have gotten indigestion from eating out of date lettuce, but holding them accountable for such a transgression is somewhat akin to blaming cows for getting BSE from the limited food supply we provide on farms. Surely there must be a more egalitarian approach.

What I suggest is this: from now on, we only eat foods that have a chance of fighting back. Instead of beef, we now eat bear; instead of lamb, wolf. For vegetation we'd get to feast on venus fly traps, poison ivy (the irritant is just an oil on the surface), nightshade and cacti. Seafood would include shark, jellyfish and possibly lobster to name but a few delicacies. Criteria for edibility would revolve around the animal or plant's ability to do us harm.

For those purists (the vegans of my dietary world), I say you can only eat food that you are able to capture and prepare yourself. No more going to the grocery store for you! And really, if you can't take that bear down by yourself, it would serve to encourage cooperation between neighbors and build a sense of community.

Sure, it's not perfect, but I don't see anyone else coming up with anything better.

Harry Potter

2007-02-07T13:17:00.000-05:00

So is anyone else as excited as I am that the new Harry Potter movie (The Order of the Pheonix) and the new Harry Potter book (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) are coming out this year - and a mere eight days apart no less?

"You want to go out in July? Sorry, can't, Harry Potter. I'm glad you understand."

The McGyver Multitool Kit - get yours today

2007-01-24T12:26:00.000-05:00

The most ingenious piece of marketing I've seen in a while. It's almost worth buying for the packaging alone....

Jack Bauer vs Chuck Norris

2006-12-29T15:52:00.000-05:00

http://www.roveonline.com/24/

Coolest Halloween Costume EVER

2006-11-10T01:02:00.000-05:00

I can only image the amount of time that went into this costume, but it was worth every second. A transformer costume that actually TRANSFORMS!

For some reason the window doesn't appear below. but click on the whitespace and it will play.

The Art of Engrish

2006-09-09T11:14:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pictures of the land of the rising sun. They certainly gave me a laugh, and hopefully you'll like them too. For more Engrish, go to www.engrish.com.

Hydrofoil Hilarity

2006-08-22T13:32:00.000-04:00

Well it's about time for another post!

One of the things I've been doing a lot of this summer is boating. My friend Gavin happens to own an incredible wakeboarding boat, along with innumerable toys upon which one can get unceremoniously dragged behind it.

The coolest toy by far is the hydrofoil (officially called a "Sky Ski"). It's looks like a wakeboard with a seat when it's riding the surface of the water, but underneath the board is an appendage that delves down approximately 3 feet and ends in a wing (aka foil). When going fast enough one can lean back and suddenly the board lifts out of the water and you're now being supported by the foil! To the right is a picture of Darren doing a wake jump on it.

Gavin also has a pretty fancy wakeboard, which is also a lot of fun. Here's me riding the wave, presumably just before I do a faceplant. I'd never ridden a wakeboard before this summer, so I'm pretty stoked about being able to jump (poorly) and go switchfoot.

And of course, the chicken costume. Brought in as an encouragement tool for Darren to do a backflip, who could resist taking it out for a spin on the water?

Though the season is running out for this year, hopefully there will be plenty more boating action to come!

Wikipedia

2006-08-10T02:03:00.000-04:00

So while watching the Colbert report a few nights ago, he did a segment on Wikipedia. For those of you out of the loop, Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia, that can be edited by ANYONE. This means that if Roy Boy (i.e. John Candy) wants to go onto the site and change the capital of Canada to Toronto ("Yeah, right. Do we look that stupid? Ottawa!"), he has that power.

The principle of the site is that other people can correct any erroneous additions to the encyclopedia. So an RCMP Officer (i.e. Steven Wright) also happens upon the site, notices John Candy's addendum and says "What's this all aboot?" (Roy Boy: "We have ways of making you pronounce the letter 'O' pal") He quickly types a few words and presto! The Canadian capital is once again Ottawa.

Apparently this system has worked well since the site's inception. I want to change all that.

Evil Plan #1: we can start coining phrases which previously had no use outside of Ottawa, giving them international exposure. The colloquial term "Turkey Bacon", recently coined by Mr Jeff comes to mind. Who are we to withhold this quaint expression from the greater populace? Moreover, who can disprove our usage of this lexicon?

Evil Plan #2: we can simply start adding things into existing entries, purely for our own amusement. Is maple syrup the national beverage of Canada? It is now! Kermit the Frog got herpes from Miss Piggy? You don't say!

Bonus points for anyone who knows what movie I'm talking aboot... and I wanna hear what kind of dastardly plans we can come up with for Wikipedia!

For all you Simpsons fans out there!

2006-08-10T01:51:00.000-04:00

Here I was thinking that James was far and away the most avid Simpsons fan out there, until I came upon this:

A new beginning...

2006-08-01T12:53:00.000-04:00

So I have no idea what this is doing, but I figure it's about time to join the blogging cicle. Soon will come posts about my new bike, my current plans to alter the course of history as we know if, and of course the Rock Steady Crew!